It's Friday July the 4 around 8:45AM and

Kanye West Ruins Internets, Vodka

Does Kanye West do the impossible? Simultaneously putting nail in coffin of viral video and the marking the high water mark for trendy vodka? Can you be over something like 'vodka'? Clearly.

It's Thursday July the 3 around 10:08PM and

Canucks lose: Markus Nasland

So the "rebuilding" of the Canucks is in full force tonight kids. Captain Markus Naslund is headed to the Big Apple to play for the Rangers.

"The franchise leader in goals and points for the Vancouver Canucks is heading to the New York Rangers. New York signed unrestricted free agent Markus Naslund on Thursday to a two-year deal. Naslund, who turns 35 on July 20, has spent the last 12 seasons with the Canucks, seven as team captain." [CBC]

For context and fan reaction on this story, we turn to the internets, and the comments section on an article at the Nanaimo Daily News:

"~ WOW !!!! the canucks are done. Brendan Morrison will be gone to. Sundin NOT i repeat is NOT going to sign with us either. I'll put money on it he going to end up in NY with his ":sweed" brother NAZI. Gillis- give your head a shake and get the hell out of Vancouver before you burn the organization to the ground... ooops you already have. Whats next move the Canucks to Oklahoma City like the sonics??????"

Um, wait, Nazi? I hate those guys. Oh, wait, it's supposed to be "Nazzy". Awkward. Hilarious. For more coverage head over to Orland Kurtenblog where they are starting with "Top 10 Consequences of the Markus Naslund Departure" (No. 9: YouTube flooded with Markus Naslund tributes using Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You.")

PS: This new General Manager Mike Gillis is kind of amazing. And clearly evil. The force is stong with this one.

It's Thursday July the 3 around 9:46PM and

Snap Judgements: Can you hate Panda Bears?

Honestly, I had no intention of writing about Kung Fu Panda when I woke up this morning. Then a friend in a bar after work said the following:

"Kung Fu Panda is the film of the year."

My initial response was, I'm going to smash my beer bottle in your face (I know, rage issues). But then, I decided that I wasn't sure I'd seen any movie to challenge that ridiculous. But what if I told you I didn't like Panda bears? Is that wrong? Thoughts? That is all.

It's Wednesday July the 2 around 9:48PM and

Michael Lewis Reports Golf Not A Sport

(Photo: Airstream Life, Flickr)

"One of the amazing things about golf is how many people have been fooled into believing it is actually a real sport. All over the world people now talk and think about golf as if it's more like football or basketball than, say, bird- watching." - Michael Lewis.

It's Wednesday July the 2 around 9:46PM and

Hellboy on Inside the Actor's Studio

Is it bad that this clip of Hellboy on Inside the Actor's Studio making me want to see the movie more than the previously panned without seeing Hancock?

It's Wednesday July the 2 around 8:59PM and

The Vancouverite Grumptorial: iPhone Backlash Tipping Point?

Will this news make Steve Jobs lose his freaking mind? Lets see. When asked BlackBerry or iPhone Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers replied in the new issue of Vanity Fair, “BlackBerry. I had the iPhone for a little while, but I’m more of a businessman; I wanted to have a phone where I could really actually do things.”

What a burn. If you've lost the Jonas Brothers, haven't you lost like everyone under 20 or something? Seriously, did you see Camp Rock? Um, i mean...

For me, the blackberry is my least favorite thing about my job and I have an LG flip phone circa 2002 with the entire alphabet. Its kind of the best phone ever. I'm so far behind I think I'm first. Take further evidence of the fact that I am still rocking an iPod Mini circa 2005. But who needs all this stuff on their phones? Seriously, I saw a cashier at Nestors last night with a Blackberry. For real? What's that about? If you don't check your email during your cashier shift what the heck is going to go down? Is he solving Mid-East peace in spare time? Get real. I'd say the same thing about getting an iPhone.

I mean its not like those people who insist on carrying around their iPhone and Blackberry at the same time to the same meeting. Seriously, that's just a poke in the eye to me, jerk faces. it really is. I'm glad Mr. Jonas took a stand against the iPhone. Is this a tipping point? Discuss.

It's Wednesday July the 2 around 8:40PM and

Blockbuster Cliff Notes Review: Hancock

The annual Will Smith summer movie opened today (technically yesterday) with Hancock. "A hard-living superhero who has fallen out of favor with the public enters into a questionable relationship with the wife of the public relations professional who's trying to repair his image." Okay, drunk superhero in need of some bottom feeding media relations work. Got it. Oh, and Jason Bateman makes the movie practically must see anyway.

And lets be clear, Will Smith is like the 'King' of 4th of July weekend so he's so supposed to eat the box office. Sure, P. Diddy loves it but will it be any good. Defamer asks if Hancock will be half-cocked and then drops this bomb, "It managed to scare up a scant 34% at Rotten Tomatoes and that's only slightly better than Drillbit Taylor!". Ouch. But it's Jeffrey Wells who really spoils the fun over at Hollywood Elsewhere:

"Hancock is a cloddy but decent-enough thing at first but then -- wait for it -- it shoots itself right in the face with a .44 Magnum. It does this at the two-thirds mark with (a) an astoundingly ridiculous plot turn, (b) a totally absurd abandonment of logical behavior concerning a certain character, (c) an introduction of a tediously loathsome fat-faced villain who does nothing but bring everyone down and spoil the vibe, and (d) a ludicrous (and suddenly introduced) back-story dependency that is ridiculous in its complexity and certainly makes no rudimentary sense."

An even bigger mystery than Will Smith's Scientology school of xenus robots or whatever he's cooking up with Tom Cruise, is how Charlize Theron has been almost absent from any marketing of the film. Is she Hancock's secret love interest? Does she has super powers also?

So will I actually see it: Maybe when it hits cheap daytime prices and no crowds at the Granville 7.